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July, 2007
Argument of the Month:
To See or Not to See. Is that the Question?
A Callanando Collaboration
Yet another Sunday Night that your favorite stooges struggle with the rabbit ears to end up unable to watch their favorite cartoon show.
Tall Guy: "Dude, we should get cable. It's like twenty bucks for basic."
Small Guy: "Yeah, we should, only five bucks each? What's basic, like ESPN and Comedy Central?"
Tall Guy: "No, that's more. Forty a month."
Small Guy: "Screw that. So what the hell is basic? We already get the networks for free with the bunny ears."
Tall Guy: "Dude, we have been trying to get Fox to come in for a half hour. And these other stations come in for crap."
Small Guy: "So we get guaranteed good reception and Fox for $5 a month? I’m in. Order it."
Tall Guy: "Dude, the Simpsons? This is gonna be awesome. We can have Simpsons parties. Small guy, you’re Barney. Ask Middle Guy if he's down."
Small Guy: "Middle Guy, you down with cable?"
Middle Guy: "Cable? I don’t think so. I already pay those touch-holes from Time Warner fifty bucks a month for internet. Why do I want to pay 'em another fifty just so they can help me waste more of my time? I already know way too much about CSI just from watching TV over the bunny ears."
Small Guy: "Whatever, man, I am down to pay five bucks a month for good reception and the Simpsons. Plus, we get two public access channels. That means the Maine Poker Showdown, baby!"
Tall Guy: "Nice! C’mon, Middle Guy, let's do it."
Middle Guy: "I dunno. I kinda hate TV. Every time I watch it I feel as if my brain is filling up with more and more sawdust. For me to purposely contribute to that process seems beyond foolish—borderline masochistic, even. Plus, I think chicks really dig our bunny ears."
Tall Guy: "Whoa! Small Guy—you got it! Okay, don’t move! Homer’s now in color."
Small Guy: "Dude, I am not going to stand here for the whole episode. I can’t even see the screen."
Tall Guy: "Hey man, we all have to make sacrifices—can you turn it up a bit while you’re right there?"
Small Guy: "Seriously, this is lame. We are getting cable."
Middle Guy: "If you guys want it, get it. Tell you what, I’ll pitch in as soon as they put on a kayaking channel."
So, Tall Guy got on the horn and dialed the cable slingers’ eight hundred number, and then sat there on hold for twenty minutes until he got another phone call. Then he called them back and eventually spoke with someone who told him it was Middle Guy who needed to call because Middle Guy was already an Internet service client and Time Warner doesn’t allow two separate accounts at the same address. Middle Guy did not seem interested in calling, but thanks to the great weather, there haven't been many complaints since. So, it looks like everyone won but Time Warner, thanks to their "policies".
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