Blending in
By Scott Phair
As a veteran of many multi-day (and multi-week) trips in a long whitewater career, I have learned that the right equipment makes all the difference in the quality of your experience. While guides will go on forever about boats, oars, PFD’s and coolers (The Grand Canyon Private Boaters List serve in May had over 125 posts on how to improve your cooler), there is an obscure, but critical piece of equipment that often goes unnoticed until some genius whips it out on or after Day 2. I am referring to the Wilderness Blender. Never heard of it you say? You my friend have just not been on the right trips (yet).
My first Wilderness Blender (WB) experience was in the Grand Canyon. A very experienced guide brought a solar powered blender and I was astounded. He always left the blender out on his deck to charge up on the long floats between rapids. In the Canyon, any civilized trip will stop in the afternoon (the earlier the better) to prepare camp for the evening’s festivities. Tradition dictates that all boatmen (a term used for any gender describing the person who actually rows through the rapids) have “boat drinks” before dinner. On this trip, we were like Pavlov’s mutts, drawn to the sound of the blender’s whirring blades. This sound was always followed by the beloved call “Boat Drinks!” We would sit on the deck of our floating home and talk about the past day’s events. Several chunks of ice would be plopped in the container to begin the process. Then, whatever liquor, juice, water, or other available liquid would be added under the all-encompassing heading of a “boat drink”. The host (the operator of the boat you’re sitting on) provided the liquor and the group was responsible for the mix. On the best trips, things like fruit and tiny paper umbrellas garnished the cup we used. Smart boaters brought big cups.
Several years ago my sister, who is not a boater but reads every catalog ever printed, bought me a battery-powered blender for river trips. As long as you have a high quality ice plan, you can have 125 margaritas (honest, that’s what the instructions said!).Sadly, I discovered that the power of the battery was not sufficient to really blend the drinks as we all preferred. We put a good face on the affair by lots of fruit and parasols but we all knew that something would have to change.
This winter I got a fabulous birthday present. My wife (a long-time river goddess) found the Vortex hand crank blender. No batteries required… 48 fluid oz’s… base nests in pitcher for compact storage. This was the answer. Presently this symbol of modern life sits in its carton waiting for warm weather and good friends. The box boasts that the Vortex is “great for mixing healthy shakes…” I am not frightened by this exclamation, I’ll just ignore it.
Somewhere, sometime this summer you will be on the Kennebec River, enjoying a long flow into the early evening hours when you will hear, off in the distance, the cry “boat drinks”. Swim, paddle, float, or boogie board over to our camp site. The Vortex will be working its magic, converting frozen water and distilled spirits into nectar of the (river) gods. We’ll tell better stories, sing a little louder and enjoy the company of the camp just a wee bit more. Blending is much more than a river trick. It’s a way of life.
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