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How are you doing? How are we doing? No Umbrella welcomes letters to the editor. Address them to P.O. Box 153 West Forks, ME 04985 |
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Questions I've been asked by rafting
customers: (contributed by John Rabbit) Q. Do we finish were we started? A. Yes ma'am. This is the famous circular Kennebec River. Q. How do you get the water to move away from the dam? A. Giant turbines push the water down the river. Q. How deep is the river? A1. Chest high to a duck. A2. Over a fish's head. A3. 12 feet Q. When do deer turn into moose? A. Around the time the leaves change color. Q. Is that an eagle? A. No sir, that is a crow. Q. Are there fish in the river? A. Yes, and lobster too. Q. Which tastes better, fresh or saltwater lobster? A. Freshwater lobster is so much sweeter. Q. What's for lunch? A. Moose or crow. Q. Really? Q. What do you do if it rains? A. I carry umbrellas in my dry bag. Q. Do you accept tips? A. >smile< |
SHUTTLE RIDE SIMPSONS TRIVIA 1] What does Homer stop the runaway Monorail with? A)The letter “M” B)His car C)Bart D)Psychic Powers 2] What is Mr. Burns phone number A)555-KING B)555-NUKE C)555-0666 D)555-0001 3]Where does Milhouse’s Dad work? A)Springfield Whitewater Rafting B)The Cracker Factory C)Shelbyville Stair Mfg. D)The Automobile Factory 4] What animal is Homer’s spirit guide? A)An eagle B)A serpent C)A coyote D)A 3-eyed fish 5]What does Homer plug the leak in the Navy submarine with? A)His one last remaining hair B)Bart’s earring C)A Zamfir CD D)A Donut (answers in print edition) |
| This reading material is written, produced and printed in the State of Maine, U.S.A. No Umbrella ... Isn’t that nice? Volume II Subscriptions to No Umbrella: just $15. *retroactive to First Release. |
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