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Small, Shallow Thoughts
Nick Callanan attempts to amuse you
2002 Guide Olympics
The 2002 Guide Olympics were held Sunday Aug. 18 at the Ball Field in West Forks.
To kick things off, Danny Mac and his buddies at Magic Falls Rafting organized a backwards raft climbing competition. It looked
pretty tough to flip yourself backwards into the top raft of a five-raft stack, but that’s a Maine guide for you.
The next event was the raft toss, in which raft company teams of five took turns running and chucking an old Avon Pro raft as far as
it would go. (They had to release the raft before they crossed a line of empty cans in the grass).
The last outdoor event was the paddle toss… you guessed it, this event had teams lining up and sending paddles, javelin-toss style,
wizzing into the late-summer, storm-threatened sky.
After these three grueling events, the guides and spectators needed a break from intense competition. During the brief intermission,
ham and cheeseburgers were served and local music gurus JC and the Pickups played rock ‘n roll onstage. The food and music was
included in the $5 cover charge. Many people also brought their own liquid refreshment to compliment the good time.
After the burgers, the final, most pivotal event was held under the huge tent (erected prior to the West Forks Fire Fighter’s Field
Day, held Aug. 17): The Super Secret Boat Race.
The Super Secret Boat Race brought out a remarkable amount of unbridled excitement and exhibition of company loyalty from
the guide corps. Team members jumped on tables and pumped their fists, bellowing the name of their employer’s company. Opponents
did the same. There were reports of beer spillage from all camps.
Just before the start of the mysterious Super Secret Boat Race, the sky broke with a clap of thunder and a warm rain began to fall.
The stage was indeed set for the Super Secret Boat Race.
Thirty unsparing minutes later, the exhaustive Secret Boat Race was over. When the dust finally settled, the weary and wounded
were many, and the victorious few… The team from Magic Falls Rafting emerged as the first place finisher, outlasting teams from Moxie
Outdoor Adventures, River Drivers, Maine Whitewater, New England Outdoor Center, North American Whitewater and Three Rivers
Whitewater to capture the Guide Olympics Toilet Bowl for the second consecutive year.
But, the Olympics were just the beginning of the night’s fun – the Taster Rapids of the evening, if you will.
By the time Magic Falls had finished their victory lap, JC and the Pickups (also sometimes known as TJ and the Hookers) were in
full-tilt boogie mode; and the 50 or so guides in attendance wasted no time following the band’s lead.
People danced and danced, while wall flowers watched and laughed. It was a cool thing to see guides from so many different
companies having fun together and being themselves. So cool, in fact, that it caused one guide to remark, “The Hokey Pokey’s got
nothing on this party… The Guide Olympics are what it’s all about…”
At 1 a.m., after 5 hours of jamming, JC and the Pickups played its last song and the guides shouted for more. Soon though, they
remembered about work in the morning and the party dissipated.
It is safe to say that a good time was had by all at the 2002 Guide Olympics. Oh! And if you are a guide and you like to have fun and
you weren’t there, where the hell were you?
Email nick [at] noumbrella [dot] com with your questions, comments and concerns.
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